22nd May 2024

It was just two of us at the Buttercross Wednesday morning, Dangerous Dave and me. The continual, persistent rain had obviously dampened the enthusiasm of our fellow cyclists, not something you could fault them for. We settled on Central Park as our destination, and after asking a young lady in the Buttercross to take the photograph we set off using North Bank as our route.

The one common factor with all types of rain is its inherent wetness, all rain, whatever its weight, frequency or shower destination is at the very least damp but usually wet, no always wet, (When are you going to tell the full story of Damply Scroggins?) Damply’s real name was Sebastion Clifton Scroggins, his father had a coffin broker’s business. (What’s one of those?) Undertakers didn’t like to stock coffins so they would contact Damply’s dad and he would search the coffin merchants and get the best price for a coffin for the undertaker getting paid a commission for doing so. One of Damply’s earliest stunts was white water rafting over Orton Sluice in a coffin unfortunately the coffin wasn’t seaworthy and capsized, it was that exploit that earned Damply his nickname. I will tell you about the Aqua bike another time I want to get this report finished. (So what happened to the coffin brokerage?) It was buried in an unmarked grave.

When we crossed the Millenium bridge Dave had dropped behind, I thought he had missed a gear and had to walk over, I was on the point of going to look for him when he arrived, his chain had come off and needed a refit. We made it to Central Park without further incident and enjoyed our teas and snacks before leaving for home; I needed to be home reasonably early for an afternoon appointment. It was as we were making our way up the hill to the rail and river bridge that Dave’s chain gave up, ejecting its joining link and then laying on the path. I offered to cycle into town and try to get Dave a new chain. He knowing that I had to be back at a reasonable time, elected to walk into town to try to get his bike fixed. When I contacted him later for an update, he told me it was quite an involved job to get his bike fixed, with a bus journey home, then a return trip with his car to collect the bike and take it to another repairer. The only saving grace was that we hadn’t ventured further afield. I returned home alone along Southbank.

Not such a great ride out but the company was excellent as always

Here are a few interesting thoughts from Readers Digest:

What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.

What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.

What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.

Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It’s called wedding cake.

More nonsense next week, all being well, take care, everyone.